oh!sweetmisery
yes, it's all forced love & affection.
you don't want me, you just like the attention.
i'm not your toy.
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Day 07 → Your best friend
Tuesday, August 24, 2010 @ 8/24/2010 06:42:00 PM | 0 comment(s) | add a comment.
Oh, well I think this is a letter challenge? I think it is.Okaaaaaaay, how do I start. Hm. Dear Christine Dorothy Canlog Guya; Hey there beshu, how’ve you been doing? Yeah? Let’s cut the crap- I miss you. I miss you so fucking much. I really, really do. I just want to say thank you for the awesome friendship. It was really dope, ye digg? Alam mo yun. I never really thought you’d be a friend of mine, not to mention, my best friend. It was really nice I met you. And I would thank God every day because I met you but I couldn’t do that anymore, because I already have – and.. I’ll stop talking now. Anyways, it was really awesome we met. If it weren’t because of that girl, I wouldn’t even dare talk to you. But because of her, I did. And now I feel like I owe her half my life. Yeaaah. I guess I just wanted to thank you for putting up with my bitchiness, impossible-ness, and stuff. You get me. You got that? ;) Labels: #30 Day Challenge Day 06 → Your day
Monday, August 23, 2010 @ 8/23/2010 08:38:00 PM | 0 comment(s) | add a comment.
I skipped days five and six.I just want to write/type how I felt about this day. I felt undeniably angry/enraged. I almost went to school late, because of that goddamned "who-knows-how-long-that-overflow-was" overflow. When I got to school, I was rushing to the gym because I thought I was already late. I was mumbling words to myself like a fool -- only to find out I still had ample amount of time. And.. When I got to the gym, that girl was the first person I saw. We had general rehearsals for our dance presentation on Friday, too. Under the scorching heat of the sun, we were asked to gallop, "change step", and basically just run to our positions during our entrance. Did I mention we were under the s-c-o-r-c-h-i-n-g heat of the sun? I had a really furked up day. Labels: #30 Day Challenge Day 03 – Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Monday, August 16, 2010 @ 8/16/2010 08:20:00 PM | 0 comment(s) | add a comment.
I have to forgive myself for not trying hard enough. Labels: #30 Day Challenge Day 02 – Your first love
Sunday, August 15, 2010 @ 8/15/2010 09:04:00 AM | 0 comment(s) | add a comment.
Thinking about this, I don't even know who my first love is. Maybe he's the most current past (is this even relevant?) one?Well anyway, if he was, it's really weird, you know? I used to be head over heels in like with this guy. It's ridiculous whenever I think about it. I'm the type of girl that draws hearts, chibis and scribbles his name at the back of her notebook during Chemistry. The type that doodles his name on my hand and feels so damn happy about it. I remember myself losing it whenever he smiles and I find myself unknowingly smiling as well. I remember spazzing whenever he smiles at me at school. And I met amazing people who I now treat as one of my best friends because I liked him for that short period of time. But, it's really awkward to think that just a few months ago/a year ago, I always go online to talk to him; when he goes online he messages me and I just feel so giddy, you don't even know - and a few months ago, we deteriorated into "stranger state," which really hurt. But now, we're in good terms, I think. I'm not holding a grudge against anyone, though. It's alright that we didn't happen. He gave me a fair amount of hurt, anyway. And I know whatever happens (or doesn't happen), happens (or doesn't happen) for a reason. I'm not bitter, or anything. And I definitely do not regret liking him for a good year; for that time, he made me smile, so I don't regret anything. They did say, "don't regret anything that ever made you smile;" he did make me smile. He made me smile a whole lot. So I didn't once count liking him as a waste of time, a mistake, or anything. And even if he were a mistake, he'd be my favorite. Labels: #30 Day Challenge Day 01 – Introduce yourself
Saturday, August 14, 2010 @ 8/14/2010 10:14:00 PM | 0 comment(s) | add a comment.
I have a lot of trouble introducing myself because I never know how to start. Like, right now - I'm running out words, yet I haven't even started.Anyway, I'm Katrina, and I dislike numbers, if you get what I mean. I waste my time drawing, listening to insane music, blogging, and coding random things. I have this insane fear of being alone, although I sometimes prefer to be. I am a complex being - a walking contradiction. I have this insane love of the word insane and ridiculous. Ridiculous, right? I don't think you'd ever understand me. Don't take it the wrong way. I've never had complaints about my personality before, so I don't see any problem with that. There comes a time when I want someone to be with me and only me, and there comes a time when I want the opposite. If you don't understand why, don't act like you do because it will be difficult for you when it backfires. Don't judge me, it's just the way I am. When I like something, I usually go insane about it. You know that sudden gush of adrenaline you got when you were a kid when your mom bought you some of your favorite candy? I often get giddy about things I like. I remember when I first learned about photoshop, I was so amazed you don't even know. The glimmer you get in your eye when you find what you love/you're good at/your "passion"? I can attest to that being the best feeling you could ever have. I like to write even though I know I'm not good at it. It's always been somehow comforting. Especially when you have those days when you feel like the whole universe is conspiring to bring you down. Those days are the best days to write. Write what, though? Write anything. Scribble. Blog. I write to feel better. I write for happiness. I write to be understood. This is getting way too long, though. Well, I guess this is enough. Labels: #30 Day Challenge 30 Day Challenge
@ 8/14/2010 09:22:00 PM | 1 comment(s) | add a comment.
Get to know me/Letter Challenge; 30 Day Challenge Day 01 → Introduce yourself Day 02 → Your first love Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for. Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for. Day 05 → Your definition of love Day 06 → Your day Day 07 → Your best friend Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit. Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted. Day 10 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics? Day 11 → Your views on gay marriage. Day 12 → What’s in your bag Day 13 → This week Day 14 → What you wore today Day 15 → Your dreams Day 16 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.) Day 17 → Your favorite memory Day 18 → A hero that has let you down. (letter) Day 19 → Something you regret Day 20 → This month Day 21 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter) Day 22 → Something that upsets you Day 23 → Something that makes you feel better Day 24 → Something that makes you cry Day 25 → A first Day 26 → Your fears Day 27 → Your favorite place Day 28 → Something that you miss Day 29 → Your aspirations Day 30 → One last moment Labels: #30 Day Challenge Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?
Friday, August 6, 2010 @ 8/06/2010 07:22:00 PM | 0 comment(s) | add a comment.
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a personality disorder described as a prolonged disturbance of personality function in a person (generally over the age of eighteen years, although it is also found in adolescents), characterized by depth and variability of moods. The disorder typically involves unusual levels of instability in mood; black and white thinking, or splitting; the disorder often manifests itself inidealization and devaluation episodes, as well as chaotic and unstable interpersonal relationships, self-image, identity, and behavior; as well as a disturbance in the individual's sense of self. In extreme cases, this disturbance in the sense of self can lead to periods of dissociation. BPD splitting includes a switch between idealizing and demonizing others. This, combined with mood disturbances, can undermine relationships with family, friends, and co-workers. BPD disturbances also include self-harm. Without treatment, symptoms may worsen, leading (in extreme cases) to suicide attempts. I don't think I have this. I hope I don't. Labels: #Personal |