oh!sweetmisery
yes, it's all forced love & affection.
you don't want me, you just like the attention.
i'm not your toy.
 |
Day 02 – Your first love
Sunday, August 15, 2010 @ 8/15/2010 09:04:00 AM | 0 comment(s) | add a comment.
Thinking about this, I don't even know who my first love is. Maybe he's the most current past (is this even relevant?) one?Well anyway, if he was, it's really weird, you know? I used to be head over heels in like with this guy. It's ridiculous whenever I think about it. I'm the type of girl that draws hearts, chibis and scribbles his name at the back of her notebook during Chemistry. The type that doodles his name on my hand and feels so damn happy about it. I remember myself losing it whenever he smiles and I find myself unknowingly smiling as well. I remember spazzing whenever he smiles at me at school. And I met amazing people who I now treat as one of my best friends because I liked him for that short period of time. But, it's really awkward to think that just a few months ago/a year ago, I always go online to talk to him; when he goes online he messages me and I just feel so giddy, you don't even know - and a few months ago, we deteriorated into "stranger state," which really hurt. But now, we're in good terms, I think. I'm not holding a grudge against anyone, though. It's alright that we didn't happen. He gave me a fair amount of hurt, anyway. And I know whatever happens (or doesn't happen), happens (or doesn't happen) for a reason. I'm not bitter, or anything. And I definitely do not regret liking him for a good year; for that time, he made me smile, so I don't regret anything. They did say, "don't regret anything that ever made you smile;" he did make me smile. He made me smile a whole lot. So I didn't once count liking him as a waste of time, a mistake, or anything. And even if he were a mistake, he'd be my favorite. Labels: #30 Day Challenge |