oh!sweetmisery
yes, it's all forced love & affection.
you don't want me, you just like the attention.
i'm not your toy.
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Rundown.
Friday, December 31, 2010 @ 12/31/2010 11:37:00 AM | 0 comment(s) | add a comment.
Wow. Just wow. 2010 has gone by so fast. So fast I didn't have any time to enjoy, nor feel grateful about it.  Labels: #Personal, #Picture, Friends, Yearly 1.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010 @ 12/28/2010 12:25:00 AM | 0 comment(s) | add a comment.
 Jai's Day
Thursday, December 16, 2010 @ 12/16/2010 09:46:00 PM | 0 comment(s) | add a comment.
It's Jairus N. Saldajeno's birthday today, and I just want to share why I'm so damn lucky to have him as a friend.I first met this smartass during freshman year. We became friends because he talked to me coz I said I played the piano as well. And I dunno what else we talked about that made us friends. Maybe it was too awesome I forgot. But, really? He is one hell of a friend. He's there when you need him... most of the time. This guy. Oh, this guy is like a boy version of me; he can curse everyone, and get away with it. Basta, he's so fucking amazing, you don't even know. :) Happy birthday, Jairus, you fucker! :) What happened?
Tuesday, December 14, 2010 @ 12/14/2010 05:31:00 AM | 0 comment(s) | add a comment.
I’m forcing myself to forget something I want to remember. Do you know how hard that is? But it’s for the better, I guess. I don’t want to seem like a bother to you, so I’ll put up walls — show you I don’t care, show you it doesn’t hurt. But I can’t help thinking, when I cried that day, before I knew, you sent me a text and asked me what was wrong, it wasn’t you, though. That’s another issue. It made me happy, because I knew you cared. That I wasn’t just one of those people that you knew. That my feelings actually made a difference. Then what happened the day after? Did you send me the text while talking to her? The one you love? It bugged the hell out of me, really. Then it hit me. This was when I understood what it meant to want something I can never really have. That happy Tuesday morning,
Thursday, December 2, 2010 @ 12/02/2010 09:34:00 PM | 0 comment(s) | add a comment.
I've been hurt so many times, I think I'm obsessed about the idea of hurt itself. I thought I got over it, I thought I was done, but when my friend came crying to me, and I learned that she had experienced what I did, it all came back. It all came crashing down. Everything that happened last Tuesday. Everything. That happy Tuesday morning, where I was practically prancing around the hallways thinking about how I would see him later on that day, his smile, and everything. That Tuesday morning, being so damn happy, smiling like fuck, mind set on you. That happy Tuesday morning, when I didn't know. That happy Tuesday morning when I was smiling, and laughing without a care in the world. And then it happened. But it's no wonder anyway; she's really pretty, she's a cheerdancer, she's so girly, she's probably nice, she's probably better than me in so many ways. And maybe, just maybe.. she has all the things he wants in a girl. - Dorothy's blog It's quite a shame. It was a great day, oh that Tuesday, a great day. I talked to his batch mate during lunch break, and then she dropped the bomb on me. I unconsciously threw my smile away, along with the idea of sunshine, rainbows, candy - happiness. I threw everything away. She told me, and I wanted to cry right there, but instead I faked a smile, and walked out. I didn't want to cry because I was with Jasmin that time, and of course, I still had a computer class after that break. I wanted to punch the gates in the gym. I wanted to punch a wall until my fists bled. I wanted to punch someone. I wanted to punch her. I wanted to punch him. I wanted to kick them in the face. But then it came to me - I'd have to refer to them, as well, "them".. But I know I couldn't do it. I don't want to do it. I could still remember that happy Tuesday morning - that happy Tuesday morning, that didn't turn out to be as how I imagined it would be - down to the smallest detail. I tried to forget, though. I tried so hard to stop the tears, and the hurt. But I guess I still need some more time. I need to get used to seeing them together at school, wearing matching colors during Mufti, and all that other crap. But, I don't think I'm ready to let this go just yet. Labels: #Drama, #Personal, FUCK, NPDU |