oh!sweetmisery
yes, it's all forced love & affection.
you don't want me, you just like the attention.
i'm not your toy.
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That happy Tuesday morning,
Thursday, December 2, 2010 @ 12/02/2010 09:34:00 PM | 0 comment(s) | add a comment.
I've been hurt so many times, I think I'm obsessed about the idea of hurt itself. I thought I got over it, I thought I was done, but when my friend came crying to me, and I learned that she had experienced what I did, it all came back. It all came crashing down. Everything that happened last Tuesday. Everything. That happy Tuesday morning, where I was practically prancing around the hallways thinking about how I would see him later on that day, his smile, and everything. That Tuesday morning, being so damn happy, smiling like fuck, mind set on you. That happy Tuesday morning, when I didn't know. That happy Tuesday morning when I was smiling, and laughing without a care in the world. And then it happened. But it's no wonder anyway; she's really pretty, she's a cheerdancer, she's so girly, she's probably nice, she's probably better than me in so many ways. And maybe, just maybe.. she has all the things he wants in a girl. - Dorothy's blog It's quite a shame. It was a great day, oh that Tuesday, a great day. I talked to his batch mate during lunch break, and then she dropped the bomb on me. I unconsciously threw my smile away, along with the idea of sunshine, rainbows, candy - happiness. I threw everything away. She told me, and I wanted to cry right there, but instead I faked a smile, and walked out. I didn't want to cry because I was with Jasmin that time, and of course, I still had a computer class after that break. I wanted to punch the gates in the gym. I wanted to punch a wall until my fists bled. I wanted to punch someone. I wanted to punch her. I wanted to punch him. I wanted to kick them in the face. But then it came to me - I'd have to refer to them, as well, "them".. But I know I couldn't do it. I don't want to do it. I could still remember that happy Tuesday morning - that happy Tuesday morning, that didn't turn out to be as how I imagined it would be - down to the smallest detail. I tried to forget, though. I tried so hard to stop the tears, and the hurt. But I guess I still need some more time. I need to get used to seeing them together at school, wearing matching colors during Mufti, and all that other crap. But, I don't think I'm ready to let this go just yet. Labels: #Drama, #Personal, FUCK, NPDU |